Stop Treating Education Like a Punch Line in a Bad Movie

Just watch T.V. for a day. Especially the teenybopper shows on Disney XD or Nickelodeon. Even certain movies on the big screen. They all do it.

Picture the scene.

A teenager, who hates Mom, hates Dad, hates the world, but loves head smashing, vocal cord ruining music like Bullet for My Valentine, walks into a “normal, American classroom.” The teacher is whatever is needed in this ridiculous or sordid tale. The instructor can be a mousy, lousy, “You wonder how she ever got her teaching certificate” kind of teacher who couldn’t teach a gifted student if she tried, and who wouldn’t be hired by any experienced principal. Or the teacher is an old, blue-haired, badgering, knuckle-rapping Neanderthal with an apron who beats her grandchildren’s stuff animals just to set an example...and never, ever allows anyone to talk unless they have raised their hand. Then, of course, there’s the lavishly attired, dress code wrecking, professionally acting (if we’re talking about walking certain streets in New York City around 11:00 PM) twenty-something teacher who bends over. A lot.

The stereotypical picture of an American educator. And this hackneyed depiction becomes the supposed microcosm of an average American classroom. “Just go anywhere in the U.S., and you’ll find one of these three teachers behind the desk,” is the common belief.

And don’t even mention the news reports about the teachers who are getting arrested for child pornography, domestic violence, or other criminal activity. And definitely don’t say, “Common Core.” Unless you want to start a war.

Is it any wonder children hate education?

Let’s be realistic, though. It’s not the children who have created these stereotypes. The kids didn’t write the scripts for those TV shows and movies masquerading as entertainment (nor are they the teenage actors and actresses masquerading as actors and actresses). The students didn’t get arrested and have their faces shown on the morning news for all to see. The children didn’t ask for a major, governmentally directed curriculum change.

They’re just forced to go and endure. At least, that’s how they look at it. One hundred and eighty days of mandated torture.

Why?

Because we adults have made it that way. Agendas and laws and politics and money have taken a good idea and made it what it is today: a debacle.

So, what’s a parent to do?

How about changing your child’s view of what education truly is?

It’s all about the learning. The discovery. The wonder. You know how it is when you read something about a topic you thought you knew everything about, and then one new, little tidbit of information makes you say, “Oh, wow…” Your blood pressure rises a little. Your heart rate accelerates just a touch. And the feeling you get from learning becomes like a mild narcotic. That’s why you spend the extra hour that night browsing on the internet when you should be going to bed. That’s why you read another chapter of that book. You want to experience that feeling again. You want to learn.

We’re all wired that way. Humans want to learn. Why do you think toddlers gets into everything? Dropping one thing and running to another “shiny object”? Why do they want to touch it? Put it in their mouths? Bend it? Bang it against the wall? Bang it against the floor? Bang it against their sibling's head?

Discovery. To learn.

Why do teenagers experiment with so many things? Music. Drugs. Friends. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Clothes. Social Media.

We say “they are trying to discover who they are in this big, scary world.” There’s truth there, hidden amongst the peer pressure and desire to fit in (which is a sign someone who just wants to be loved by people who are—at that moment—deemed important, by the way).

So, the trick is to help your child’s love for learning flourish. Help them see that learning is not something that only happens at school. Children and teenagers are notorious for “compartmentalizing” their lives. It’s a defense mechanism designed to help better protect them against “information overload.” They adopt the Las Vegas mentality when it comes to school: What is learned in Language Arts class stays in Language Arts class.

However, this placing of one thing in this box (like Math, for example), and the placing of a different thing in a different box (like history, for example) can be detrimental to their learning curve. The kids who do well in school see the interconnectedness of topics. They understand that math and science are related more than you see on the surface, and they apply the mathematical principles they learn in Mrs. So-and-So’s class to the scientific principles they learn in Mr. Whatchamacallit’s class. Yet, they also see how these principles relate to the discovery of some medical breakthrough or the invention of an industrial machine created in the 18^th century, and how the person who discovered it did so.

Helping your student learn how to love learning will be one of the best gifts you can give your child. And the best way you can accomplish this process is to model it. And no, sitting in front of the TV watching the likes of The Housewives of Atlanta or Ice Truckers isn’t going to cut it. Unless that’s the kind of child you really want to produce. It’s the old “Monkey see, Monkey do” conundrum.

Your children need to see you reading about subjects you wish to delve into more. If you’re a fiction reader, you need to share with your family the interesting facts you learned about a subject while enjoying the story. However, you need to mix it up with some non-fiction, too. If a topic arises around the dinner table (I know, who does that anymore? Sad, huh?) or in the car on the way to soccer practice, make it a point to sit around the computer and investigate that subject more later that evening. You could even make a game of it. One person on the desktop computer, the other on the tablet. On your mark, get set, go! Who can find ten facts nobody in the family knew about that subject the fastest? And don't forget to fact check...primary sources...primary sources...primary sources are more reliable than secondary ones...

In the midst of modeling your learning, you are accomplishing three things. First, you are showing your children that you’re never too old to learn. That the world is a big place. The universe even bigger. No one person knows everything about everything. 

Second, you’re showing them (hopefully) safe and efficient ways to research new areas and enjoy learning in a variety of ways. And, you're doing so as a family. Don't get caught up in the techno-family paradigm where Dad's on his cell phone, Mom's on her cell phone, the kids are on their cell phones, sitting around the living room, being together but living separate lives, doing separate things, never really communicating in this supposed communicative age we live in, and all the while tricking themselves into thinking they are somehow doing something constructive "as a family." If you can do in separate countries what you can do in the living room, then it's not "family time." That's called "close proximity." 

And third, you’ll have an excellent opportunity to discuss things you discover and determine their merit. Aristotle said, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” Just because someone said it or put it in print doesn’t necessarily make it true or correct.

Learning how to learn is actually more important than learning a bunch of facts and figures. It’s like the fishing analogy: “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Showing your child how to learn is something they can take with them no matter where they go, what they learn, or who they become. And it always outlives an Xbox.

By the way, summertime is a great time to start this process. Before school kicks life into high gear again.

And maybe, just maybe, you can dispel some of those stereotypes about education (which is what learning is) along the way.

*Generic photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

_____________________________________

Short Bio

C. KEVIN THOMPSON is an ordained minister with a B.A. In Bible (Houghton College, Houghton, NY), an M.A. in Christian Studies (Wesley Biblical Seminary, Jackson, MS), and an M.Ed. in Educational Leadership (National-Louis University, Wheeling, IL). He presently works as an assistant principal in a middle school. He also has several years experience as an administrator at the high school level.

A former Language Arts teacher, Kevin decided to put his money where his mouth was and write, fiction mostly. Now, years later, he is a member of the Christian Authors Network (CAN), American Christian Fictions Writers (ACFW), and Word Weavers International. He is the Chapter President of Word Weavers-Lake County (FL), and his published works include two award-winning novels, The Serpent’s Grasp (Winner of the 2013 Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference Selah Award for First Fiction) and 30 Days Hath Revenge - A Blake Meyer Thriller: Book 1, as well as articles in The Wesleyan Advocate, The Preacher, Vista, The Des Moines Register and The Ocala Star-Banner.

Kevin is a huge fan of the TV series 24 , The Blacklist, Blue Bloods, and Criminal Minds, loves anything to do with Star Trek, and is a Sherlock Holmes fanatic, too.

Website:           www.ckevinthompson.com

Blogs:               www.ckevinthompson.blogspot.com

Facebook:          C. Kevin Thompson – Author Page

Twitter:            @CKevinThompson

Goodreads:        C. Kevin Thompson

Going Where No Parents Have Gone Before (Part 2)

Back in the day, kids played around in the neighborhood. Cops and robbers. Cowboys and Indians. Games of football, basketball, baseball, hide and go seek, kick the can, capture the flag, all in their various forms and locations. If kids got out of line, little Johnny knew Billy’s mom was good friends with his mom. And the unwritten code of the neighborhood allowed Billy’s mom to inform Johnny’s mother of the bad behavior. Sometimes, Billy’s mom would even discipline Johnny. And Johnny's mom would THANK her.

Unfortunately, neighbors hardly know each other anymore. Their kids rarely hang out together. And if they do, “You had better not lay a finger on my child, or I’ll sue!”

As a result of this “disconnectedness” despite close proximity, children—the master manipulators—have taken advantage of the phenomenon. And the age-old saying, “Actions speak louder than words,” is being turned on its head in the world of cyberspace.

This ability to connect with people without building relationships is the key. We have “friends” on Facebook we didn’t really know before we accepted their request. We have other one we have never seen on years. We send out little tidbits of our lives (or other family member’s lives), pithy sayings, funny pictures, alarming videos, etc., and call it “friendship.” We “Like” it, “Share” it, make “Comments,” yet after a week of this ocean side, one-inch deep socialization, we still don’t really know anyone any better than we did before, unless we’re making snap judgments about their politics, decisions about clothing styles, or choice in companions.

Yeah. We really know that person because they said something about the president’s policies or another person’s religious beliefs.

Or that they watched “Dancing with the Stars” last night…and now they're angry because little miss So-and-So got kicked off the show.

Or they posted a video taken in a Wal-Mart...

Yep. That tells me everything about them, doesn’t it?

This phenomenon also empowers people. Stuff you’d never say, standing in a Town Hall meeting, or on the street corner, or in a classroom, will all of a sudden come gushing out as you now feel strong enough to type it and hit “Send.”

It’s all so liberating. Isn't free speech wonderful?

But the times….they are a-changin’.

There’s a prevailing wind blowing from major capital cities in the western world. It’s a growing sentiment among politicians: Parents will never be parents. Parents are too busy, too uninformed, too lackadaisical, maybe even too stupid to know what’s best for their children, so government will step in and do what parents should have abrogated but failed to do so.

Take the stance Australia is taking, for exhibit #1. They have created a new position, called “E-Safety Commissioner." This new commissioner “will be empowered to issue notices to cyber-bullies to take down harmful online posts, or face court injunctions or police referrals.” Of course, this law targets Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, primarily. I’m sure other sites will be monitored as well, but let me ask this question: Because these sites experience such a high volume of traffic (millions of posts a minute combined), how will one commissioner monitor all the posts, decipher them, and ferret out the “Harmful posts”? (And what determines “Harmful”?) Will they have to use computer programs that scour these sites and examine every word—TSA-style—and when a certain number of “red flag” words are packaged together in one post, then will it bring that person's account to the attention of E-Safety Commissioner? And if the perpetrator turns out to be living in Guam or Atlanta, Georgia, then what? Do they extradite? The point is, monitoring of your child's sites is not just something they are thinking about doing. They are already doing it.

Exhibit #2 comes from the Land of Lincoln. The state of Illinois now has a law on the books wherein if it can be shown, by way of a post on a social media site, that it occurred during school hours, then the school administration has the right to request the password of the student in question for the purpose of looking for cyber bullying activity. In other states, this goes a little too far, and having the student type in the password for an administrator is the preferred method of accessing such evidence. The point here is, your child's activity should not be happening at school, and if your child does post something at school, he or she may run the risk of having every post on their page subject to review. 

Now, the United States doesn’t have an overarching law yet to handle cyber bullying, but it is covered under already existing federal law and is mandated to be investigated whenever cyber bullying looks, smells and tastes like harassment.

Here’s my point in bringing all this up: With freedom comes great responsibility. And if parents don’t start taking responsibility for their children’s actions via technology, then their (we are talking about the parents here) freedoms will be confiscated “for the sake of saving lives.” And it’s not just concerning the issue of cyber bullying we are talking about when it comes to the freedom/responsibility issue. It also pertains to anything illegal your student could do while using technology, whether it be a smart phone, tablet, or regular computer...and what could be done to them as victims, whether they be at the hands of a cyber bully, a child pornographer, a pedophile, or human traffickers. It's not safe out there. I always wonder why parents who would never allow their kids to walk the mean streets of a major city at two in the morning think nothing of allowing them to "walk" the even viler streets of cyber space.

Good parents not only want to know where their children are at all times (e.g., Are they at a friend’s house? At home doing their homework? At soccer practice?), but they should also want to know where their children are in cyber space and what they are doing while there.

Who knows? Your child’s actions may land you in jail. And if something really horrendous took place—like your child being responsible for another child taking his or her life—and you, the parent, purchased the phone and the phone is in your name, then you might someday become an accessory to murder. Sound bizarre? Ludicrous? Far-fetched? Check out the articles below and let me know if you think it is.

As I see it, it’s only a matter of time, so be proactive. Get ahead of the issue. Keep tabs on your child’s cyberspace activity…it may save you both. (Here’s a tip sheet to help.)

http://abcnews.go.com/US/mom-accused-teen-cyber-bully-arrested-child-abuse/story?id=20617247

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/18/opinion/omara-parents-cyberbullying/

http://cyberbullying.us/holding-parents-responsible-for-their-childs-bullying/

*Generic photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

_____________________________________

Short Bio

C. KEVIN THOMPSON is an ordained minister with a B.A. In Bible (Houghton College, Houghton, NY), an M.A. in Christian Studies (Wesley Biblical Seminary, Jackson, MS), and an M.Ed. in Educational Leadership (National-Louis University, Wheeling, IL). He presently works as an assistant principal in a middle school. He also has several years experience as an administrator at the high school level.

A former Language Arts teacher, Kevin decided to put his money where his mouth was and write, fiction mostly. Now, years later, he is a member of the Christian Authors Network (CAN), American Christian Fictions Writers (ACFW), and Word Weavers International. He is the Chapter President of Word Weavers-Lake County (FL), and his published works include two award-winning novels, The Serpent’s Grasp (Winner of the 2013 Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference Selah Award for First Fiction) and 30 Days Hath Revenge - A Blake Meyer Thriller: Book 1, as well as articles in The Wesleyan Advocate, The Preacher, Vista, The Des Moines Register and The Ocala Star-Banner.

Kevin is a huge fan of the TV series 24 , The Blacklist, Blue Bloods, and Criminal Minds, loves anything to do with Star Trek, and is a Sherlock Holmes fanatic, too.

Website:           www.ckevinthompson.com

Blogs:               www.ckevinthompson.blogspot.com

Facebook:          C. Kevin Thompson – Author Page

Twitter:            @CKevinThompson

Goodreads:        C. Kevin Thompson

Going Where No Parents Have Gone Before (Part 1)

It apparently started over a boy.

The comments. The looks. The “Oh, I’m sorry” bumps in the hallway between classes, followed by stifled guffaws which proved no one is ever really sorry in such instances.

It starts out as two people having a “beef.” Emotions get involved. Words that can’t be taken back get spoken. The age-old problem of jealousy. It goes back in human history about as far as you can look, and if it isn’t dealt with in the initial stages, it can lead to some vicious and even deadly outcomes.

In this particular case, the body of a 12 year-old girl was found at the base of a cement silo. In one of the reports I read, detailing the tragic death of Rebecca Sedwick, they weren’t sure if she jumped from the 19-foot platform, the 24-foot platform, or the 60-foot one at the top. At least 15 girls were involved by the end of the investigation. Even more young people, from as far away as North Carolina, knew about Rebecca’s predicament and her comments about wanting to “end it all.” But they said nothing. Alerted no one.

How were those girls involved, you ask? Bumping into her in the hallways. An intimidation tactic. Texting her, making threats of physical harm, like “She wants to fight you.” That’s a common one. Instigators getting in the middle, ramping up the stakes. Pushing proverbial buttons, trying to see if any of them ignite a fire. Other comments, like “Wait til I see you. I’ll beat your ***” are more direct. Threats of bodily harm always prove to be game changers.

Others texted Rebecca, exhorting her to “Go kill yourself” and asking her, “Why are you still alive?” There were other questions asked, too. Rhetorical in nature, they are designed to push a person toward suicide, planting ideas in their head they may have never thought of on their own, like “How many over-the-counter drugs do you take to die?” and “How many Advil do you have to take to die?”

The story began at school. Over a boy, investigators said. When Rebecca’s parents decided to home-school her due to the incessant bullying, then it morphed into cyberbullying. It’s nothing more than long-distance bullying. Bullying with a long arm. And just so we’re clear, cyberbullying is more sadistic because the bullies often say in veiled anonymity things they would never have the courage to say face to face.

Also, if you think this is a “girl problem,” think again. And if you think it’s always about boys liking girls or girls liking boys with jealousy raising its ugly head, bullying has many avenues and targets.

If there is a way to belittle others, children and teenagers will find it. Take the case of Ryan Halligan. An older case involving a boy with a learning disability. You can just imagine where this story is headed, can’t you? Other students making fun of him because of his educational struggles. You can just hear the peers calling him “stupid” and “retard,” can’t you? But if you think that’s where it started and ended, think again. The merciless stabs at his intellect got old, which is often the case with bullies. “That’s no fun anymore.” Especially if the victim is man or woman enough to ignore it. In this case, the derogatory name-calling transformed into someone accusing Ryan of being gay (a rumor with no basis). This is a very common ploy bullies utilize, especially amongst boys. Those incessant rumors were passed around amongst classmates and others via AOL instant messenger, that day’s version of today’s Facebook IM.

The taunts and jabs went on for two years. Ryan’s story culminated with a popular girl named Ashley. At some point over Ryan’s last summer on Earth, it was learned that Ryan had a crush on Ashley. She was a girl who defended Ryan in the beginning when others made fun of him. However, as is often the case with so many of these stories, Ashley became popular along the way, and defending Ryan became detrimental to her social ascendancy. So, instead of standing up for what was right and just, she joined the crowd. 

Over that summer, Ashley thought it would be funny to pretend to like him only to gain personal information about him.¹ These IM chats back and forth were then passed along to friends via AOL IM. And you know what those friends did with that information, right? You guessed it. They passed it along to their friends…who passed it along to their friends…who passed it along, etc., etc…. When confronted about it in school the next year, Ashley referred to Ryan as a loser. Ryan’s response? “It’s girls like you who make me want to kill myself.”

Hey, Mom? Dad? Ever heard of these: Kik. Ask.fm. Yik Yak.

What about Whisper? Tinder? Omegle?

No. I’m not speaking Greek. Nor a language from the planet Melmac. I’m listing the names of cell phone apps kids and teenagers use today most parents know nothing about.

Most kids know Mom and Dad are on Facebook. Mom and Dad are often on Twitter, too. So, what do kids do? They go where their parents aren’t. Sites like these mentioned above are fraught with unsupervised kids doing what unsupervised kids normally do…things they’d never do if they knew Mom and Dad (or the police) were watching.

In the world of cyberspace, it’s much like the Wild, Wild, West in the 1800s…in more ways than one. And if your child has a cell phone, even worse, a smart phone, then you may be placing your child in harm’s way…in ways you never thought possible.

Take the case of the 35 year-old man in the UK who posed as Justin Bieber and convinced young girls to do things they’d never do on Facebook because Mom and Dad might be watching. Oh, by the way, he used the ruse to get young boys to do similar acts, then used their images to his own, evil devices to further his cause. How did he accomplish this heinous crime? He got the kids to use their webcams, take a picture of themselves (and worse), and when they did, it automatically downloaded to his computer. He then threatened the victims with disclosure if they told. Girls as far away as Tasmania were victimized. One girl tried to commit suicide when he released unflattering photos of her on Facebook, complete with her name, address, and other pertinent information.

There have been other instances wherein molesters and pranksters trick children and teenagers by pretending to be someone they are not and then getting the child to give up crucial information about their families (Here we go again! See footnote #1), about their home’s computer network, wireless system, etc. The next thing you know, they have full access to your home via the web cam on your child’s computer. But remember, it can all start with the cell phone…in the hands of children and teens. No bullying here, per se. But horrible activity that can damage lives, nevertheless.

Of course, there are the usual suspects: perverts trolling chat rooms and other sites your child may frequent, fishing for information. Other lowlifes try to set up “meet and greets.” Often, it’s simply to get that young person alone and commit rape. In other cases, in a growing industry more and more perverts and drug users are using for financial benefit, these creeps are setting up meet and greets for more nefarious purposes, like human trafficking. All because unsupervised children have cell phones (and let’s not forget computers), and Mom and Dad have no idea what they are doing with those devices.

So, ask yourself, Mom, Dad…Do you know what’s really on your child’s cell phone? If you ask to see it, do they willingly give it to you in a full disclosure kind of way? Or do they hem and haw, get defensive, and start quoting laws about their right to privacy like a jailhouse lawyer? And does the phone have the app called Poof or Snapchat on it? If it does, then you have to ask yourself this question: “What are they hiding?” You probably want to ask them that question, too. These apps, available on both Apple iTunes and Google Play, are designed to carry on conversations, send photos, pass along videos, etc., that are, once viewed, automatically deleted from the person’s phone. Teens see this as an excellent way to say things about other people without having any evidence on their phone “left behind.”

The problem is, kids and teenagers don’t know how all this technology really works. Nothing is ever deleted in cyberspace. Companies who are in the social media business, for the purpose of staying bulletproof when it comes to lawsuits, keep every text, every video, every everything your child (and you, for that matter) posts online. If a lawyer filing a lawsuit ever subpoenaed those records, Facebook, Twitter, You Tube, Kik, Ask.fm and the like, want to be able to produce them. Their company and subsequent profits (a.k.a. livelihood) trump your need for privacy. Oh, and by the way, they figure since you are using their services for free and have to incur such a huge expense like storing all this data, they have retooled their service provider rules, and continue to do so each time a major lawsuit is settled and changes the way they have to do business. Now, in most cases, they not only have to keep your material available, they own it. When you clicked “I Agree to the Terms & Conditions, blah, blah, blah…,” you summarily turned over your rights to any and all material uploaded therein, henceforth, and forevermore. Nothing is ever really free anymore…

So, when your child downloads hurtful and derogatory comments, uploads unflattering selfies of targeted victims, makes comments like “Go kill yourself” or “I wish you would just die already,” then it’s there. Forevermore. And since these companies own it, they will hand it out to whichever law enforcement agency or prosecuting attorney asks for it.

To get a picture of where most social media moguls stand in this issue, all you have to do is get to know Ilja and Mark Terebin, the brothers from Latvia who started and own Ask.fm. They blame the media and parents for kids becoming bullies. It’s a harsh (and vulgar) message they have for you, and they think you, the parent, are at fault. You allow your child to be swayed by the media. You allow your child to have a phone or computer. You allow your child free run of any sites they see fit to visit without any oversight on their part. They believe they shouldn’t have to police their site for your child’s bad behavior. Their mother Ludmilla Terebin agrees.

It’s your fault.

And maybe, it is. With 120 million subscribers worldwide and 15 million of those in the United States, Ask.fm says 42% of those 120 million are under the age of 17. In the United States, those would all be minors. They can’t vote. They can’t smoke. They can barely drive. Yet, we freely give them the keys to this evil kingdom, pat them on the back, and tell them to “have a good day at school.” The logic really doesn’t compute, does it? 

And that, my friends, take us to Part 2 of my blog for next month. You’ll never guess what Facebook and the others are being forced to do now. It’s a game changer. And possibly your child—if he or she is the one bullying other kids—will be the target.

For some helpful articles about the Apps your kids use, check these out:

http://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/kids/9-most-dangerous-apps-for-kids.html

http://www.foreverymom.com/parents-kids-10-dangerous-apps-time-hit-delete/

http://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/banned-most-dangerous-iphone-apps/

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2015/01/31/5-dangerous-apps-dont-know-your-kids-are-using/

http://fun.familyeducation.com/mobile-apps/social-networking/74548.html

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/15-apps-and-websites-kids-are-heading-to-after-facebook

Also, just type in “The Most Dangerous Apps” into your web browser, and you’ll have more reading than you’ll care to do.

Until next month.

_______________________________________

¹May I add here that this ploy (of pretending to be someone or something you are not to gain personal information) is used by not only cyberbullies, but also child molesters, identity thieves, psychopaths, and serial killers. This should tell you something about the psychoses of human nature when this practice manifests itself and should be a huge red flag for you if you witness it or hear of someone doing it.

*Generic photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

_____________________________________

Short Bio

C. KEVIN THOMPSON is an ordained minister with a B.A. In Bible (Houghton College, Houghton, NY), an M.A. in Christian Studies (Wesley Biblical Seminary, Jackson, MS), and an M.Ed. in Educational Leadership (National-Louis University, Wheeling, IL). He presently works as an assistant principal in a middle school. He also has several years experience as an administrator at the high school level.

A former Language Arts teacher, Kevin decided to put his money where his mouth was and write, fiction mostly. Now, years later, he is a member of the Christian Authors Network (CAN), American Christian Fictions Writers (ACFW), and Word Weavers International. He is the Chapter President of Word Weavers-Lake County (FL), and his published works include two award-winning novels, The Serpent’s Grasp (Winner of the 2013 Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference Selah Award for First Fiction) and 30 Days Hath Revenge - A Blake Meyer Thriller: Book 1, as well as articles in The Wesleyan Advocate, The Preacher, Vista, The Des Moines Register and The Ocala Star-Banner.

Kevin is a huge fan of the TV series 24 , The Blacklist, Blue Bloods, and Criminal Minds, loves anything to do with Star Trek, and is a Sherlock Holmes fanatic, too.

Website:           www.ckevinthompson.com

Blogs:               www.ckevinthompson.blogspot.com

Facebook:          C. Kevin Thompson – Author Page

Twitter:            @CKevinThompson

Goodreads:        C. Kevin Thompson

4:20 - A Time for Parents to Wake Up

One of the biggest issues I deal with as an administrator is the issue of drugs. Today is National Smoke-It-Up Day. The Munchie Holiday. Weed Day. And it’s not coming to a neighborhood near you. It’s already there.

It started in 1971. A group of athletes in San Rafael, California, calling themselves “the Waldos” coined the term (4:20, 4/20, 4-20) when they learned of a plan to search for an abandoned cannabis crop. The Waldos, named for their now famous hang-out spot—behind a wall outside the school—designated the Louis Pasteur statue, located on the grounds of San Rafael High School, as their meeting place. Their designated meeting time was 4:20 p.m. The Waldos’ code phrase was “4:20 Louis." Eventually, the code got shortened to “4:20” as the meeting places changed, causing the term to evolve into a not-so-hard-to-break code word teens use to simply mean marijuana-smoking in general.

Today, marijuana is so prevalent, all a student has to do is put out feelers, and within minutes, he or she will have multiple connections to drug dealers in the area. As a matter of fact, if you see someone in a school or neighborhood with a white towel or t-shirt over his shoulder, that means he could be a dealer (or it could be an innocent soul who is clueless about such things). Other signs, like a certain colored bandanna sticking out of a back pocket, can also be a sign of drug dealing activity (it also is a sign sometimes of gang affiliation). Sadly, in many instances however, an older sibling or "good friend" will act as the go-between and buy the dope for the younger sibling or friend. They will even take the younger sibling or friend on a “field trip” to go and meet the dealer so that the dealer can "deal" directly with the customer in the future. The point is, it's not hard to find it if you're looking.

In our culture, with the hearty push to legalize marijuana across the nation, using medical marijuana as the gateway, what I have witnessed, first as a teacher and now as an administrator, is that each year, the students being affected are getting younger and younger.

Back in the day, it was unheard of to learn of a middle school student using drugs. That was a college thing. High schools were getting infected, too, but they were still more interested in smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol. Everybody knew who the "stoners" were. They had their isolated little areas (kind of like The Waldos), they all hung together, usually dressed differently from everybody else but looked alike, etc. But now, elementary students are getting arrested for possession. And seemingly any person from any walk of life can be found "in possession." It's not as "isolated" as it used to be.

In some more extreme cases, elementary students are getting arrested not just for possession, but for distribution as well. You see, the drug dealers have gotten smart over the years. They know that if a ten-year-old (or even a middle schooler) gets “popped” for possession, not much will happen. They’re minors. The system will do its level best to save them before tossing them in juvenile detention and throwing away the key, and the dealers know this. If the number of grams falls below the felony limits, then the student will probably get suspended from school and have to attend some class on the danger of drugs. But once those requirements are satisfied, he or she is back in action at Little Dealer Elementary.

Another sad trend is the use of Exceptional Education Students (ESE) by drug dealers. Dealers know many of these students struggle with school. Holding down a job will be difficult for a few. So, “how about you deal for me,” is the general plea sent out by the dealer. “Instead of working at McDonald’s for minimum wage, you can make $100 a night working just a couple of hours for me.” What hard-pressed student who already hates school wouldn’t give that offer some serious consideration?

The other big time “selling point” for students today is this mantra: “It helps me relax.” With the stress of standardized testing, higher accountability, a depressed economy with fewer good-paying jobs, and a world that seems to be hell-bent on destroying itself, this phrase works like a charm. When they relax, they are able to “get away from it all,” including school, Mom and/or Dad.

What younger students do not realize is that marijuana is not called a “gateway drug” for nothing. Very few people stop with using just marijuana. The “high” produced eventually becomes common place. Weak. Ineffective. So, they go looking for other things to help them find that “high” again. That’s when the other drugs enter the scene: Cocaine, Heroin, Smack, Crack, etc. 

Scarier still are the self-manufactured "highs" students concoct. "Pharm parties," wherein students show up with a bottle of pills from their home's medicine cabinet, are another way students get "high." The pills are dumped into a large bowl and mixed with everybody else's "donation." Students then take a pill or two or three (sometimes more and often mixed with alcohol) to get "their buzz on."

And of course, there is that whole slice of the pie as well. Selling prescription drugs on the street to pay for their drug habit. Mom, Dad, if you have anything in your medicine chest that is worth $$$$ on the street, you need to keep a close eye on those bottles. Oxycontin, Ritalin, and other strong pain and ADHD medications are the "faves" in this category.

As a parent, what can you do? You’re biggest challenge is your student’s friends. Like most things, such as a good book or a favorite restaurant, we learn of these things via word of mouth. Someone tells someone. Trumps up the story and makes that “thing” sound like the best one ever. Shows us a video. Tells us where to go on the web to "look it up." Your children are no different. The shoes they wear. The clothes they beg you to purchase. The electronic gadgets they must have if they are ever to survive. Where did they find out about all this stuff? Advertisements? Maybe. But Aeropostale and Hollister didn’t spread like wildfire because of ads alone. Someone had to buy one of their $40 shirts or a pair of their $80 pants. Then, they had to wear it. And then they told all their friends where they got it. And how cool the store was. And the rest is history.

However, there is a difference between their clothes from Pac-Sun and the marijuana they hide in their sneakers. One is legal. One isn’t. Students know the difference. That’s why you’ll never hear them ask you, “Hey Mom, where is the best place to buy some pot?” Those questions are reserved for their friends. And you'll be amazed at how resourceful they can get when they want answers to that question.

I’m shocked sometimes at who I see hang together at school. “That student hangs with him? What is she doing with those girls?” But as an administrator, I can’t just call the parent up and say, “Hey, you might want to start paying attention to who your child is hangin’ with. This has bad news written all over it.” Now, of course, if they get in trouble, then when I call the parent, I can bring it up, and I do. Why? Because, as is usually the case, their grades are dropping, attendance is getting worse, skipping is occurring, a sudden and growing negative attitude is appearing, and all these packaged together are key indicators for drug use. I see it all the time. The grades start to dip. The attitude starts to get snarky, defiant. Student starts to skip class. Sometimes, the student never makes it to school and instead hangs out with some friends at another student’s house so they can pretend it's 4:20 all day long. Authority figures are sudden enemies. Mom. Dad. The teacher. Me. The police. That’s the drugs talking.

But it’s also the friends. The changes in grades, attitude, outlook on authoritative figures like parents, teachers, administrators, and police, are being swayed by the drug culture. “It’s us against them.” The next thing you know, your child is touting the benefits of marijuana use and chanting that it should be legal. It’s a package deal, unfortunately. Just listen, really listen, to the ads for the legalization of marijuana, and you'll hear these "anti-establishment" undertones loud and clear. 

So, as a parent, what can you do? You need to get to know your child’s friends. If you want to kill the snake, chop its head off. Get to know the friend’s parents, too. Get to know the siblings of the friends as well. You also may want to just pop in at your child’s school, unannounced, sign in through the Main Office, and head on down to the lunchroom, with McDonald’s in hand, and check out who he or she is sitting with at lunch. And definitely, you want to be inside your child’s cell phone. Who are they contacting? What are they saying when they do talk to their friends? I’ll be willing to wager there are programs and apps on your child’s cell phone right this very minute, that you, the parent, have never even heard of. Yet, your child uses those to communicate with his or her friends regularly. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are but a drop in the proverbial bucket. They know you probably use those, too, so they use other programs and apps you don’t…to do all sorts of things without ever being detected. How do I know this? Because I deal with the cyber bullying aspect of those programs on a regular basis. You’d be surprised what students say about each other when they think no adults are ever going to see it.

And don't let them become a little "jailhouse lawyer" and try to tell you about Invasion of Privacy laws. If they have nothing to hide, they shouldn't mind at all if you, the parent, want to see how your child is using the phone you are paying for. If they get upset, deny your request to see it, tell you, the parent, you have no right to look at it, then you may have a serious situation on your hands. And unless you raised your child that way, that's the friends talking. It may also be the drugs.

Next month, I’ll delve further into the world of your child’s cell phone playground. You may want to wait on purchasing that two-year contract until then. J

Oh, and by the way, 4/20 is also Hitler’s birthday. Another factoid students think is “cool.” So, what does that tell you about this day?

*Photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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Short Bio

C. KEVIN THOMPSON is an ordained minister with a B.A. In Bible (Houghton College, Houghton, NY), an M.A. in Christian Studies (Wesley Biblical Seminary, Jackson, MS), and an M.Ed. in Educational Leadership (National-Louis University, Wheeling, IL). He presently works as an assistant principal in a middle school. He also has several years experience as an administrator at the high school level.

A former Language Arts teacher, Kevin decided to put his money where his mouth was and write, fiction mostly. Now, years later, he is a member of the Christian Authors Network (CAN), American Christian Fictions Writers (ACFW), and Word Weavers International. He is the Chapter President of Word Weavers-Lake County (FL), and his published works include two award-winning novels, The Serpent’s Grasp (Winner of the 2013 Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference Selah Award for First Fiction) and 30 Days Hath Revenge - A Blake Meyer Thriller: Book 1, as well as articles in The Wesleyan Advocate, The Preacher, Vista, The Des Moines Register and The Ocala Star-Banner.

Kevin is a huge fan of the TV series 24 , The Blacklist, Blue Bloods, and Criminal Minds, loves anything to do with Star Trek, and is a Sherlock Holmes fanatic, too.

Website:           www.ckevinthompson.com

Blogs:               www.clevinthompson.blogspot.com

http://www.thehelpfuleducator.blogspot.com

Facebook:          C. Kevin Thompson – Author Page

Twitter:            @CKevinThompson

Goodreads:        C. Kevin Thompson